Funny Unix Messages


% ar m God
ar: God does not exist

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% talk Comrade Khruchev
[Your party is not logged on]

% ping elvis
elvis is alive


% make fire
Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop.

% why not?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% lost
lost: not found

% alias alias alias
alias: Too dangerous to alias that.

% drink <bottle
bottle: cannot open

% cat catfood
cat: cannot open catfood


% look into "my eyes"
look: cannot open my eyes

%touch me; chmod 000 me; touch me
touch: cannot touch me: permission denied

% sleep with me
bad character

% man you
No manual entry for you.